“My name is Anita. My late husband, Sanjay Kumar, was suffering from metastatic lung cancer. He was getting treated at AIIMS but ultimately on March 8, 2021, the oncologist at AIIMS referred my husband to CanSupport for palliative care at home. Sanjay was 57 at the time. We were blissfully married and had two daughters out of this marriage. My elder daughter got married in 2018 and the younger one is in class 12. My in laws live with me and are very supportive and loving.

My husband had a thriving business, but cancer and its treatment prevented him from continuing his business.

When the home care team visited my home for the first time in March 2021, I was immediately drawn to their kindness and gentleness. They almost felt like family.

My husband had always been an extremely guarded person. He would never share his troubles or worries with anyone. Not even with me or his parents. Even during his journey with cancer, no matter what kind of pain he may have had been experiencing, he always had a smile on his face.

Given my husband’s reserved, private personality, usually it was me talking to the palliative care team, sharing about my husband’s symptoms and challenges. I had requested the team not to discuss Sanjay’s prognosis with him. The team very much respected my request and never discussed with Sanjay about his sickness, and only talked about any physical discomfort that he may have been experiencing. I am really grateful to the team for showing great sensitivity.

When the team asked me about our family’s medical history, I informed them that Sanjay’s sister, who is married, also had breast cancer but recovered two years ago. On gaining this information, the team shared that some cancers could run in the family and recommended regular check-ups for my daughters. This information was highly useful and an eye opener for me.

My husband wouldn’t talk much but I think deep down in his life, he was conscious of the diminished time he had with me and would constantly need me to be around him. I had to be next to him at all times.

The home care team continued to visit us and regulate my husband’s pain and other physical symptoms and give me a lot of emotional and moral support through regular counselling. The team nurse helped me a lot by offering me advise on my husband’s diet.

Come April, Delhi was hit by the second wave of the highly infectious delta strain of coronavirus and sadly, in the month of May, I contracted Covid-19. I moved to the second floor of our house to isolate myself and to protect my husband and in laws from the virulent virus. Little did I realise that this physical separation from me would deteriorate Sanjay’s condition at a higher speed. Even though I kept encouraging Sanjay on the phone from the second floor, he still wanted me to be next to him physically. Towards the middle of May, we ran out of morphine and my husband was in severe pain. I promptly called CanSupport’s home care team and despite the lockdown and knowing that I was down with Covid, they were kind enough to manage to provide morphine for my husband through another patient’s caregiver. I really want to thank the team from the bottom of my heart.

My quarantine period soon got over but negotiating with his own illness and on top of that worrying about me being down with Covid had already stressed my husband further and his health worsened. His lungs got filled with water and he couldn’t breathe.

The home care team suggested admitting him to the emergency ward at AIIMS. Even though Sanjay was very reluctant to get admitted to a hospital and kept refusing but I didn’t want to take any chances. My husband was worried that he would be kept with Covid-19 patients at the hospital, but I kept encouraging him that I would remain with him.

The hospital only allowed me to see my husband once and all he said was, “Get me out of here.”

When on the 3rd of June I got a call from the hospital that my husband was no more, I was filled with a heavy sense of guilt and sorrow. I was filled with remorse about not being present with my husband during his last moments when he might have wanted to express himself or share something.

Had it not been for the home care team that continued to emotionally support me and my in laws even after my husband was no more, I could never have gotten over my guilt. The team counsellor very calmly and empathetically listened to all my feelings of guilt and remorse and made me understand that I did whatever was the best for my husband in the given situation.

I cannot thank the team enough for their continued support that gradually got me back on my feet. I am much calmer now and have increasingly started taking interest in taking care of myself, my family and my daily life. I miss my husband but I am at peace that I could look after him and could carry out the best for him.”

We at CanSupport thank Anita for sharing her story.

To protect the privacy of the patient and the family, the name/s in the story have been changed. There are many people like Anita and her family who need palliative care but they don’t know where to go. While CanSupport is doing its best the reach out to people informing them about their services, we request you to spread the word.

Share our Helpline Number 011 41010539 with all the needy people. Though all CanSupport services are free of charge for patients, the cost of reaching out to patients and caring for them cost Rs. 1800/- per visit per patient.

If you would like to support our cause, please donate at https://cansupport.org/donate

(Picture in display is representation of CanSupport Home care Services)